


Comatose love

by Miizurichan



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M, comatose hayama, injuries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-22
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:34:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4046143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miizurichan/pseuds/Miizurichan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monday life was perfect. </p><p>Tuesday his life was ruined. </p><p>Wednesday left an empty hole where his heart should have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three days and it was all gone

**Author's Note:**

> *characters, ships and tags will be updated as i know just where this plot is going*  
> so much angst oops  
> yeah so let's see where this takes us  
> enjoy!

Monday life was perfect. He was waking up with Hayama in his arms, snuggled against his chest. Morning kisses were given and received before he left for his college classes and Hayama left for his. 

He would meet up with Fukui and Imayoshi and then he’d eat lunch with them, Hayama, Mibuchi and Nebuya. After that, there were some more classes, then he’d go home to his nearby apartment where he lived with Hayama. They’d eat dinner together and then Hayama would head for basketball practice and he would head for his part time job as a waiter. 

Everything was normal and perfect. 

At least, that’s what he thought. 

However, that turned out to be so wrong. 

Life is unpredictable, but not in a million years did Miyaji think this would happen. 

Tuesday his life was ruined. At exactly noon, in the middle of a class, three police officers came in. Miyaji paid them no mind until the teacher called him up. At first, he couldn’t think of anything he had done wrong, but when he saw the tears in his teacher’s eyes, something cold ran through him. 

He couldn’t describe the feeling, but when he was led out of the classroom and told what had happened, he didn’t feel anything. He didn’t cry, he didn’t scream, didn’t beg them for it to be a lie. He just stood there, stiff as a stick with a blank expression on his face. 

He couldn’t hear anything of what the officers said, couldn’t hear his own heartbeat. He felt numb, and then it all went black. 

\----------

When he woke up, the college nurse and one of the police officers were standing over him. He could hear the nurse speak but he just shook his head and got up. He wasn’t entirely steady, but he didn’t care. “Take me to him.” Those were the only words he spoke. 

He was silent all the way to the hospital. Silent and stone cold. Nothing really felt real and the police officers couldn’t give him all the information. All he got from them was that Hayama was very injured, possibly in surgery and thus in the hospital. 

Miyaji was silent as they head toward the waiting room to wait for updates about Hayama. When they get there, he noticed that Hayama’s parents and his two older sisters were there already. 

They leaped up to hug him and he couldn't do anything but stroke their backs gently. They were shaking and sobbing against his shoulders, but Miyaji still couldn’t feel it. He still felt numb, like it was all a joke. 

Regardless, he tried to soothe the two sisters as they stood in the middle of the waiting room. Miyaji noticed Hayama’s father looking at him with a look he was sure matched his own. 

Miyaji knew he should cry, that it was normal to cry, get upset, and all that, but he couldn’t. Hayama always told him to never worry about him until he had proof, that gut feeling wouldn’t help because trouble seemed to poke his shoulder every once in a while. Because of that, Miyaji felt stone cold, and he would continue to feel that way until he knew just how bad this situation was. 

Wednesday left an empty hole where his heart should have been. 

Early in the morning, they were informed that Hayama was in the Intensive Care Unit until they knew he was fully stable, so they couldn’t see him yet. All they knew was that he was still alive. They were thankful, but knowing he was alive and not knowing how badly he was injured didn’t help their worry. 

At noon, exactly 24 hours after Miyaji got the news of Hayama being injured; his heart was torn out, stepped on and burned. 

The word kept echoing in Miyaji’s head until it made no sense. He didn’t want to believe it. 

Coma. That was what the doctors said. Coma caused by the injures he sustained.

Everything he should have felt the past 24 hours came the moment he saw Hayama’s beaten body laying on the hospital bed. He didn’t seem to be able to breathe on his own, as he was hooked up to a ventilator that pushed air into his lungs to breathe for him.

Miyaji wanted to scream, cry, pass out, throw up, and smash the entire room all at once. Instead, he only sank back against the nearest wall after backing into it and clenched his eyes shut. 

He was breathing fast through his nose and shivering slightly. His head was spinning and tears were stinging in his eyes even as they were clenched shut. He couldn't stand looking at Hayama; he didn't want to believe it. 

The air felt suffocating and every beep from the machine that registered Hayama’s heartbeat made Miyaji’s chest tighten painfully. 

Miyaji felt Hayama’s mother sit down beside him and stroke his shoulders gently but he only shook his head and drew fast, unsteady breaths. He didn't want to face reality. 

Miyaji wanted Monday back. He wanted to wake up from this nightmare, tell Hayama about it and hear him say that it won’t happen, that it was just a dream. 

But that wasn't going to happen. Hayama wasn't there, he was gone. His body was there, but it’s not the same. Hayama couldn't kiss his temple and nuzzle his face into his hair to cheer him up. He could only lay in that hospital bed, with a machine that breathed for him. 

Miyaji could only watch. There was nothing he could do to break Hayama’s comatose state. There was nothing anyone could do about that. All they could do was wait, but waiting was painful. 

\----------

It took Miyaji hours to calm down after seeing Hayama, but he absolutely refused to leave the room until he had to. Hayama’s parents reluctantly left for work as they both had night shifts and his sisters left for evening shifts. 

He was alone in the room, sitting with his legs pulled up against his chest in the chair by the hospital bed. He wanted to reach out and hold Hayama’s hand, but he looked so injured and fragile that he didn't dare. 

A mini-van had gotten out of control on the road because the driver had fallen asleep. Hayama didn’t see it as he crossed the street, because the green man made him feel as if it was completely safe. Miyaji knew that, from experience with Hayama. 

Hayama’s head had hit the asphalt road with what should have been a crushing blow. Yet he survived. The doctor said his heart stopped twice on the way to the hospital and once during the surgery. It was a miracle he was alive, they said. 

Miyaji wanted to laugh bitterly at that. There was no miracle in this. Hayama was as good as dead, unless he woke up. “Only time can tell,” that was the only answer he got. He was swarmed with pitying looks. It made his stomach churn painfully. 

\---------

At five in the afternoon, Takao called him. Miyaji figured the news just reached him. He could tell Takao understood that he wasn’t in a mood for talking, but he appreciated the kind words from both him and Midorima. 

Just when Miyaji planned to sit in silence, Hayama’s phone rang. Miyaji didn’t hesitate to pick it up; even as he saw the caller ID was Akashi. 

“Hello. I’m assuming this is Miyaji?” Akashi’s voice was smooth, collected and it almost made Miyaji laugh. “Yeah, that’s me.” 

They talk for a bit, but the calmness of Akashi’s voice annoyed Miyaji a bit. However, the last words Akashi spoke set the sparks of hope in Miyaji. 

“Did you know that science proclaims the voice of a loved one can get through to a person in comatose?”


	2. A month and a half of unfamiliarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miyaji spent most of his time with Hayama, like always, but exams were something he couldn't get away from. Still, all he hoped for, is for Hayama to wake up soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At last this is finished!  
> the next chapter will be quite different from these first two, but the setup of this chapter will make more sense when the 3rd chapter is out so bear with it!  
> Enjoy!

The first three weeks, Miyaji did nothing but visit Hayama in the hospital. The school knew, his work knew, everyone knew. Sometimes he ended up taking his homework and such with him and got updated regularly by Imayoshi and Fukui about work and assignments. 

He was aware the nurses could hear him talk to Hayama, but they didn't seem to mind and left him alone. He tried to avoid paying attention to them as well, until they came to change Hayama’s bandages. 

The scenery still made him quite uncomfortable, but he couldn't just back out from this. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he wasn’t here to help Hayama fight his way out of the coma? A shitty one. He would be a shitty boyfriend if he wasn’t here. 

Within the first weeks, Hayama’s old teammates from Rakuzan came to visit. Well, Mayuzumi didn’t come, but no one expected him to come. Miyaji supposed Hayama was closer to Nebuya, Mibuchi and Akashi. 

Nebuya and Mibuchi didn’t stay long the first time they visited and Miyaji was sure that was because Mibuchi was weak to hospitals. Maybe the smell. Miyaji couldn’t blame him, though. He had lost track of how many times he had almost thrown up because of the scenery and the smell. 

After they had left, Akashi had turned to Miyaji with a stern, yet soft look. It wasn’t pity, but Miyaji couldn’t place it. “You are aware that he loves you above all else, yes?” His voice was even, calm, much like over the phone. “Yeah. What about it?” 

Akashi shook his head lightly at the harsh tone of Miyaji’s voice. “It just means he is more likely to react to you. I think you should try to take advantage of that, it might just work.” Akashi looked between Miyaji and Hayama for a moment before a new face appeared at the door. 

“Sei, we need to go.” Akashi looked to his side as Kuroko stepped into the room to bow slightly, showing his respects toward both Miyaji and Hayama. “I pray for his recovery, Miyaji.” 

“Yeah… Thanks, Kuroko.” Miyaji knew he sounded awfully passive, but he couldn’t help it. He just wanted Hayama to wake up already. No amount of praying would be enough until Hayama woke up. No kind words would make him wake up any faster either. 

Yet, he appreciated all kind words he got. Although he could barely notice it over worrying for Hayama, he felt a bit better. 

“Well, we will take our leave then. Do not forget what I told you, Miyaji.” The soft smile on Akashi’s face as he walked out of the room with his hand linked with Kuroko’s seemed out of place, but so right. 

As if Miyaji could ever forget what Akashi had told him. It was the small strand of hope he had to cling to. One of those things that kept him going every day. 

The weeks turned to a month and many of Hayama’s injuries had healed. The smaller ones were completely healed while the larger ones needed more time. That was good news, Miyaji supposed, but he couldn’t feel any joy. 

All he really heard from the doctors was that there was still no change. Hayama still didn’t seem likely to wake up anytime soon. It broke him, but he didn’t let it show. Miyaji wasn’t going to give up. He definitely wasn’t. 

So long as there was hope, he was no leaving Hayama. Though he was pretty sure he’d have a hard time leaving Hayama even if there was no hope left. Hayama had given him so much in life, but there were so many memories they hadn’t made yet. Miyaji would never believe it was Hayama’s “time to go”. He just couldn’t, he definitely wasn’t meant to leave the world this early. There was just no way. 

Miyaji cried that night, with one of Hayama's hands clutched in his. He didn’t think of it at the time, but that was the first time in almost a month he had touched Hayama properly. Before, he had been too worried he’d injure Hayama even further, but that night he couldn’t help it. 

The next day Miyaji had to leave Hayama’s side for two days. Exams. Oh, how Miyaji wished he could say screw it and not even have his exams. With puffy eyes and a slight sore throat from crying, Miyaji had his exams. 

He waited until he got the results, restless as few. All he wanted was to get back to Hayama’s bedside. As the results were announced, he found his own name as quickly as possible and saw he had passed. Which grade he got wasn’t on his mind, he was just glad he passed. 

Before half an hour had passed, Miyaji was once again walking down the familiar hall to Hayama’s room. By now he was used to walking this exact way, but he never got used to the way his breath would hitch upon seeing Hayama laying there in the bed. It had been so long, yet he never fully got used to the sight. 

As he always did before stepping inside, Miyaji took a deep breath and released it slowly to calm down as much as possible. He noticed it was easier now that he knew what to expect when he entered the hospital room. 

Miyaji walked with slow steps to the bed and pulled the chair closer to the edge of the bed. He looked at Hayama’s form as he gently grasped his hand without disturbing anything. The room was silent for a bit before Miyaji cleared his throat slightly. 

“Hey, Kota… Sorry I haven’t been here. Had some… exams.” It felt weird, it always felt weird to talk to Hayama like this, but he did it anyway. Both for Hayama and for himself. “I passed them, though. Didn’t look too closely at the grades, but I passed.” 

Miyaji paused for a bit, then he smiled slightly. “You’d… probably pout at me and tell me to find out. You’ve always been motivating me, Kota.” He stopped, as though all other words just died on his tongue. Tears stung his eyes again, but he kept them away and just looked at Hayama. 

It was still uncomfortable to look at, but Hayama looked a lot better now than he did at first. His face was no longer swollen and bruised. Only small hints of injuries remained. Miyaji could finally lean in and kiss Hayama’s temple without fearing he would injure his boyfriend further. 

Before he could fully lean in to kiss Hayama’s temple, someone cleared their throat behind Miyaji. This caused him to sit up straight and look back to see who it was. 

By the door stood a nurse with a soft smile. Miyaji couldn't quite place the rest of her expression, but for some reason he thought she seemed relieved. His suspicions are confirmed as she walked closer to check over the monitor. “You know…” she started and turned her head to look both at him and Hayama. 

Although he was still holding Hayama’s hand lightly, he turned more toward the nurse to show her he was paying attention. “You came not long ago, but his vitals are already improving a bit. He’s been stable while you were gone, but he’s better when you’re around. That’s proof he knows you’re here.” 

The gentle smile was still on her face, and Miyaji could feel himself smiling slightly as well. She was quite young, to be a nurse, but Miyaji found her one of the most comfortable nurses around Hayama. This was mostly because she didn’t pity him, naturally she felt sorry he had to go through this, but she never pitied him. If anything, she tried to encourage him to keep his head high and keep talking to Hayama until it worked. 

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right about that.” He smiled gently up at her before looking at Hayama again. However, the next words she spoke made him freeze. “This might be unprofessional of me, but I just have a feeling that he will wake up. A miracle will happen. That’s what I feel.” 

Miyaji didn’t turn around, even as he heard her walk out, but her words rang through his head even as her soft footsteps disappeared down the hall outside the room. Breathing out a shaky breath, Miyaji turned his gaze to Hayama’s face while he held his hand. “Did you hear that, Kota? She believes you’ll wake up, that you’ll come back to this world, to me.” His voice was unsteady and full of emotion he couldn't bring himself to hold back. 

He cried again that afternoon, sobs tearing through his body as his cheek was pressed lightly against Hayama’s shoulder and his hand was entwined with Hayama’s unresponsive one. He felt hopeless, absolutely hopeless. 

When evening came, Miyaji was exhausted. He had lost track of how long he had cried, and it didn’t really matter anymore. All he wanted was for Hayama to wake up in that moment, turn his head, kiss him and say everything was okay. 

He knew it was unlikely that Hayama would just wake up suddenly without any explanation. Or maybe that was the secret, Miyaji didn’t know. Sniffling and drying his eyes, Miyaji sat up and looked at Hayama again. The longer he watched him, the more Miyaji felt like the comatose Hayama was trying to tell him something. He naturally knew it was his own head turning some gears that he didn’t think of before, but he let Hayama have the honor for it. 

Either way, there was little he could do for the remaining time of that day. It was late and the most productive thing he could do was sleep. He could always go down to the hospital library the following day; it wasn’t going anywhere, neither was the internet. For now, after being away from Hayama for two days, Miyaji didn’t want to leave his side. 

As he rigged himself up in the chair beside the bed and found a blanket to wrap around himself, he kissed Hayama on the temple and the cheek before laying his head on the mattress underneath his head. Now, a few days over a month of Hayama being in a comatose state, he found the beeping of the monitors reassuring. The first nights he found it stressful and annoying, but now it was his way to know Hayama was still technically alive. The monitor was Miyaji’s replacement for Hayama’s heartbeat. 

A month became a month and a half and Miyaji started to see a change in people outside hospital. People around him seemed to grow weary, tired even, of Miyaji ditching both this and that in order to be with Hayama. He wasn’t sure what it was, but his gut feeling told him that they wanted him to get over it. To come around as though his boyfriend for years wasn’t in a coma at all. His boss at work sounded more and more annoyed every time Miyaji declined to take a shift, and while Miyaji did understand why, it made him queasy. 

If Hayama had been awake and only needed to be in the hospital for care, nothing would have been a problem after the first week. But Hayama wasn’t awake. He was in a coma, and the mere thought of being away in the event that Hayama woke up terrified him. If Hayama, dazed after having been out for over a month, believed Miyaji had left him… He refused to take that risk, all while he knew it was getting unreasonable to cling to Hayama like he did. 

Miyaji looked over to Hayama in the bed. “If only you were awake, you could help me figure out what to do.” Shaking his head slightly, Miyaji pulled one of his legs up under his chin. He had to do something, anything. When he thought a bit about it, it was wearing on him to be so still. He had always been an active person. That was one of the reasons why Hayama was a perfect partner to him. Hayama’s overload of energy gave Miyaji energy as well. 

However, with Hayama in a coma, Miyaji found no energy for anything. He didn’t want to admit to being so dependent on someone else, but he couldn’t help it. Hayama had made him come closer to himself and helped him push his own boundaries. 

The restlessness that settled in his chest, remained with him for the rest of the day. He knew he couldn’t keep living this way, even if he didn’t want to leave Hayama. He needed to do something, and the first thing he could think of, was calling a certain someone. 

Drawing a breath, Miyaji picked up his phone and dialed a number that had become familiar to him during this time. “Hey, Akashi, are you busy? I could need some advice, again.” It still felt foreign to Miyaji to lean on Akashi in this situation, but he was thankful for it. All he could hope for, was that he somehow got a feeling of what he should do.

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry miyaji i love u so much and i swear i love ur bae kotabby. i just want to ruin u a little bit


End file.
